Adoption is Awesome – A Mother’s Thank You Message

After five years of infertility treatments, surgeries and a miscarriage, my husband and I could not contain the immense joy we felt as our adopted daughter was placed in our arms for the first time back in 1984.  Our family has since grown to 3 daughters.  Our oldest is 29 and adopted from South Korea, our middle is 27 and biological and our youngest is 20 and also adopted from South Korea (no biological relationship to our oldest).

When our first two children were infants/toddlers, my husband and I would sometimes be asked if there was any difference in how we felt towards our oldest who was adopted and our youngest (at the time) who was biological.  Our immediate answer without thinking was, “Do you or would love YOUR oldest child less now that you have or would have a newborn?”  This is how we truly felt and still feel today.  ALL of our children are gifts from God and equal in our lives.  We were blessed to have them come into our family in different ways.

Our adopted children, have always known that they were adopted.  The word adoption was brought up as a positive event in their lives while at the same time acknowledging the difficult loving decision their biological mother had made for them and their future.

All three of our girls are always given the same love and affection by their Dad and I. Our daughters have always been there for each other and are each other’s best friends.  Our two oldest are now married, and the close relationship they have always had with each other has now formed a deep friendship between their husbands also.  It is not uncommon for our youngest daughter to be invited over one of their houses where the four of them are already gathered for a weekend evening of fun.  The three girls also make it a point to have a ‘get-away sister’s weekend’ twice a year for just them – no parents’ invited!

It warms my husband’s and my heart to see the love they have for each other.  It gives us a sense of peace and confidence knowing that their relationships with each other will always be a priority in their lives in the years to come.

Every Mother’s Day, I say a prayer for the biological mothers of our 2 adopted children.  I thank them from the bottom of my heart for the total love and concern they felt for the child they bore and the gift they gave not only to their child, but to our family.  I pray also that they have peace with the decision made many years ago and that God may let them know joy, the joy that their children have lived with.

‘Not bone of my bone, nor flesh of my flesh,

but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a moment,

you didn’t grow under my heart… but in it!‘

Author unknown

Rita